Rhonda's Big Adventures in Haiti: Long return

Driving is Haiti is bad enough. Driving in Haiti from halfway across the country is way worse. Gertrude was adamant that we could fit way more stuff in the truck than humanly possibly. We begged her to take the grill out. We also begged to sit in the back which is not something most women do in Haiti. We thought it would be better than being jammed in the cab. We shared the back with the pig, a large bunch of plantains, a box of fruit from the priest, a couple huge bags of charcoal (it's not like the stuff at home), a big cooler on wheels, and numerous packages with who knows what. Honestly, there wasn't much (safe) good room for us to ride, but we figured we'd take our chances. I was filthy in about 10 minutes while attempting to strap myself in. Little did I know that it was going to be a long day.

Mountain area

I forgot to mention about our school gathering mission. Some of the kids are 29 years old and still in H.S. Can you believe that? It's not because they are not smart enough to graduate or go to the next grade, it's mostly due to money. So a family has no money, well then little Billy misses school that year or maybe a couple of years. It's kind of sad knowing that these young adults are so screwed and they are stuck in the middle of exactly no where. Seriously, there's nothing here.

But anyway back to the story, we finally depart and the sun doesn't feel so sweltering like it usually does, but we are flying down the road. I won't call it a highway, it doesn't seem appropriate. The scenery is actually nice. Not as much garbage and filth like Port au Prince.

I still can't find a safe/comfortable spot. I have no idea what I am sitting on but it's not comfortable and there are many angles poking into all over. Gertrude tells us before we leave, not to hang on too tight to the tie down, it's not safe. Boy that was comforting knowing that my life line is not safe. There's nothing else for me to really hang onto except for the garbage can containing the dead pig. We rode in the back for at least 4 hours, that is until it started to rain. Pretty much sucked. Gertrude let Jamie in the whole front passenger seat...totally lucky. I drew the short end of the straw. I got the five people in the backseat spot. I'm pretty sure my ass occupied approximately 2.75 square inches of the corner of the seat. I would define my position as the "one legged fetal position". The door handle was in my back and the window crank felt like the proctologist checking me out. My knee was about 2-3" from my chin. Hey, but only two hours to go.

I started singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall in my head to distract me from the contorted state I was in. I think rigor mortis would be setting in I'd say in about an hour or so. What seemed like an eternity as well as at any given moment going stark raving mad. Suddenly we stopped. Yeah we stopped! One of the other guys, cracked first and could no longer take the bone crushing either, he got in the back. He really didn't care and one of the other guys went with too. I'm glad it wasn't me, even though there was no way I'd be able to ride like that for 2 something hours. I was so very happy. I had Gertrude's uncle who is in 70's next to me. I had to have been crushing his old body. He was the killer of the pig and I'm sure he was spent as well after sleeping outside so we could sleep inside. That's a pretty nice person.

We got stuck in several other hour long traffic jams which are not fun on a Saturday night of Flag Day...big holiday lots of revelry underway. I think we made it back around 10 or 10:30pm. I was so tired and so dirty. I think I was dehydrated because I did not have to go to the bathroom once which probably explains my pounding headache. Jamie said since I was the dirtiest, I got to take a shower first. I felt like a total water hog but I had no choice, it took that long to get the grime off of me and get the snarls out of my hair. I hit the hay pronto! I hope that is the longest ride I will have to do.